You Can Heal…But First… 16 Bits of Wisdom to Realize 16 Truths About Changing Your Thinking (Pt. 4)

In a previous post, I discussed a few key points to achieve goals towards health and healing, yet one point, in particular, deserves extra attention since it is the foundation of all actions and behaviors.

Do you suffer from anxiety? Fear? Uncontrollable, obsessive thoughts? Criticizing thoughts? Worry? Skepticism? Unexplainable stress? PTSD?  Learning Disabilities? Mental obstacles that hold you back from fully enjoying life? Then read on. Or maybe you don’t suffer from any of that, but you are not reaching your dreams or sticking to your goals as planned, or not living up to your fullest potential and happiness.

Don’t worry, there is hope!

It was once thought out brains were unchangeable; meaning there was nothing we could do to change our thought life. Yet over time scientists have discovered the exact opposite! Our brains are wired to evolve, develop, and grow with each and every new day. Isn’t that exciting!?

I can’t stick to a diet. I can’t stick to an exercise program. I can’t teach myself a new language. I can’t wake-up early. I can’t press on past obstacles to accomplish my goals. This person makes me feel bad so I can’t be a good person. This person hurt me when I was young so I don’t trust anyone. This person told me I was overweight as a child or teenager so I will always view myself as fat and have low self-esteem. I could go on and on. We may not realize the lies running rampant throughout our mind on a daily basis because we leave our thoughts unchecked. These unchecked thoughts then negatively permeate into our relationships, actions, behaviors, and health.

I believed changing my thoughts was impossible. Especially at first, when I started the 21-day brain detox, I noticed how most of my thoughts were negative, I became even more depressed and hopeless. Wasn’t until I started to target my thoughts, break down the negative strongholds at all cost, and replace them with positive thoughts did I start to see massive life-changing adjustments in my life!

If I, someone once on the brink of suicide, can do it, then I am here to tell you anyone can. I know that saying is very cliche, but it is the absolute truth.

Why should you detox your thought life?

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought” – Peace Pilgrim.

What you are thinking every moment of every day becomes a physical reality in your brain and body, which affects your optimal mental and physical health. These thoughts collectively form your attitude, which is your state of mind, and it’s your attitude and not your DNA that determines much of the quality of your life.

This state of mind is a real, physical, electromagnetic, quantum, and chemical flow in the brain that switches groups of genes on or off in a positive or negative direction based on your choices and subsequent reactions. Scientifically, this is called epigenetics; spiritually, this is the enactment of Deuteronomy 30:19, “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.” The brain responds to your mind by sending these neurological signals throughout the body, which means that your thoughts and emotions are transformed into physiological and spiritual effects, and then physiological experiences transform into mental and emotional states. It’s a profound and eye-opening thought to realize something seemingly immaterial like a belief can take on a physical existence as a positive or negative change in our cells. And you are in control of all of this! The choices you make today not only impact your spirit, soul, and body, but can also impact the next four generations.

The great news is that we are wired for love, which means all our mental circuitry is wired only for the positive, and we have a natural optimism bias wired into us. Our default mode is one of being designed to make good choices. So our bad choices and reactions were wired in by our choices, and therefore can be wired out. Our brain is neuroplastic – it can change and regrow. In addition, God has built in the operating principle of neurogenesis – new nerve cells are birthed daily for our mental benefit. This sounds like Lamentations 3:22-23, ‘The LORD’s mercies…are new every morning.”

You won’t forgive that person, get rid of that anxiety or depression, follow that essential preventive health care, strive to that intellectual level you know you are capable of, follow that dream, eat that organic food, do that diet, be that great parent or husband or wife or friend, get that promotion, or make other changes to create a quality, positive lifestyle – unless you first choose to get your mind right and switch on your brain. After all, the ability to think and choose and to use your mind correctly is often the hardest, but it is the first and most powerful step.  (Leaf, 2013, pgs 13-15)

16 Bits of Wisdom to Help Change Your Thinking:

1. Your mind is the most powerful thing in the universe after God.
2. Free will and choice are real, spiritual and scientific facts.
3. Your mind (soul) has one foot in the door of the spirit and one foot in the door of the body; you can change your brain with your mind and essentially renew your mind.
4. You can develop your spirit through choices you make in your mind to be led by the Holy Spirit.
5. Your body is not in control of your mind – your mind is in control of your body and your mind is stronger than your body. Mind certainly is over matter.
6. You are not a victim of your biology.
7. You cannot control the events and circumstances of life, but you can control your reaction to those events and circumstances.
8. When you think, you build thoughts, and they become physical substances in your brain. “As he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Prov 23:7).
9. Good thinking = good choices = healthy thoughts; toxic thinking = toxic choices = toxic thoughts.
10. You are designed to stand outside yourself and observe your own thinking and change it.
11. You are designed to recognize and choose the right things to think about.
12. Each morning when you wake up, you have new baby nerve cells born inside your brain to use wisely as you remove bad thoughts and wire in new ones. This is called neurogenesis.
13. You have been designed for deep, intellectual thought.
14. You are wired for love, and fear is a learned and not a natural response.
15. You have the mind of Christ.
16. You are made in God’s image.

Those 16 Bits of Wisdom Will Help You Realize These 16 Truths:

1. Happiness comes from within and success follows – not the other way around.
2. You can learn how to learn and deepen your intellect.
3. You can overcome those learning issues.
4. You can get the chaos in your mind under control.
5. You do not have to walk around in guilt and condemnation.
6. If you wired those toxic thoughts in, you can wire them out.
7. You don’t have to get stuck in bad habits; you can change them.
8. You can overcome feelings of rejection and hurt.
9. Forgiveness is not the battle you think it is.
10. You don’t have to worry about things that are out of your control.
11. You are not a victim of the things you shouldn’t be doing.
12. You don’t have to fear that if a condition runs in your family that you are going to get it (for example, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, or depression).
13. You can balance your over-thinking and over-analyzing mind.
14. You can overcome and control depression and anxiety – some scientists are showing you can even control and overcome schizophrenia and OCD.
15. You don’t have to keep digging into the past to get free from it.
16. You can be happy and filled with peace regardless of your circumstances.

Whether or not you believe in God, these points are extremely powerful in changing your thinking, changing your thoughts, and changing your life!

Make sure to check back next week, as I will be sharing how to detox your mind in 5 simple steps using a proven scientific method; it will change your life!

♥ Stay true my friends, until next time!  ♥

P.S. Comment and let me know if this is something you are interested in learning more about, if this is helpful, or any other comments or suggestions you may have.

* The 32 points and information are taken from Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book Switch On Your Brain. They are not my own thoughts; I give credit where credit is due. I only want to spread the knowledge and information that has helped me change my thinking, and change my life.
Reference
Leaf, C. 2013. Switch On Your Brain. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books

You Can Heal…But First…7 Things To Do Immediately (Pt. 2)

Life is an amazing journey of ups and downs and turns in every direction. While we may take 5 steps forward, we most always end up taking a few steps back, that is just life, and that is okay. In the process of healing, healing from self-harm, bad relationships, a breakup, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, compulsions, perfectionism, the list goes on and on, it is crucial to build a foundation of knowledge and self-acceptance.

It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way. There are a few things to incorporate into your life, from this day forward, and here are 7 of them.

1. Stop taking things personally.

I used to get offended by facial expressions, things people never even said but I imagined that is what they were thinking, things that were said and I twisted to find the hidden meaning in the simple words. Finding inner peace, balance, and joy is not possible if we are hanging on every word or action of other people. When someone treats you poorly, it is a reflection of their poor attitude, not yours. When someone is rude to you, you have no idea what they are going through, or what their life is like, so don’t take it personally. When someone says something that could be hurtful, I remind myself of the truth, and that is they are hurt trying to hurt others, and I just happen to be in their path, then move on with my life.

2. Commit to being yourself, no matter what.

If you ponder life and human nature, it is quite fascinating actually. We can morph into many different characters throughout the day depending on who we are around or what we are doing. While this is a useful skill to have, it is important to be rooted in “yourself”. I used to try to be accepted by everyone, but in that, I lost myself. I finally came to a place where I said here I am world. Take it or leave it. If someone does not like me for me, every part of me, the quirky, sometimes spastic, yet loving and caring person I am, then oh well, I do not want them in my life. Meditation helps tremendously for self-acceptance and developing a strong sense of self.

3. Be decisive.

It is easy to be indecisive. I see it all the time, especially at work. I see individuals struggling to decide which area to sit in, what chair to use, what to drink, if they want a refill, what to eat, if the food tastes good, if they want something else, etc… While occasionally not knowing where you want to eat or go is understandable, struggling to make any decision at all about every little thing in life is no way to live. It leaves the door open for other people to control your life. Being decisive takes practice, like a muscle it needs to be exercised to be strengthened, but it is worth the effort.

4. Stand for something.

Not having an educated opinion about different life aspects leads to being tossed around by every person and idea. Stand for something, have opinions, if you do not have opinions or a cause you stand for, every time you read something, hear something, see something, ask yourself what you believe about that and why. Find a passion you are interested in and educate yourself about the topic. If someone has differing views, that is okay, but agree to disagree. Stand for something, so you do not fall for everything.

5. Change your thinking.

Complaining. Worrying. Negativity. Half glass empty. Deep sarcasm. Gets you absolutely nowhere good in life.  If a negative thought comes up, immediately replace it with a positive life-giving word or phrase. It does not feel comfortable or natural at first, but it gets easier. Life starts to change when we intentionally change the way we think. It’s an easy way out to blame our past experiences and continue living in a torture cell of our own imagination and thoughts. It takes courage and strength to become determined to change our life by changing our thoughts.

Dr. Caroline Leaf is a life-saving resource when it comes to changing thoughts. Switch On Your Brain is just one of her many books that changed my life. I still do the 21-day brain detox to optimize my thought life every new day, month, and year.

Check out her website here.

 6. Detox your life.

Declutter an area of your house every week, or every day whichever you decide works for you. Put one thing, either an article of clothing, shoes, trinkets, something else in a sale or donation pile. Get rid of those things that no longer serve you or bring you happiness.

While being there for someone is important, it not our job to fix or save someone, we are not God, let’s stop acting as if we are. If someone in your life is toxic, cut them out. Life is too precious and too short to accept negative toxic people in our lives.  If someone constantly criticizes you, puts you down, disrespects your boundaries and ideas, drags you down instead of building you up, or makes you feel insecure or less of a person, it is time to let them go or create distant.

7. Love and be loved.

After being hurt, let down, deceived, played, or taken advantage of, it is easy to stop loving people or accepting love. I put everyone in a box and labeled them as I saw fit. I built walls to protect myself. I never let anyone close to me. I stopped loving myself and others. I was convinced every person is the same, in one way or another. Selfish. Evil. Scandalous. Deceitful. Yet that is not true. Once I started to tear down those walls and let people in, to my surprise, I found some awesome people. While many people are not good people, many people are. It is about being discerning and giving every person a fair chance, while still having boundaries.

 “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let bitterness steal your sweetness” -Kurt Vonnegut

♥ Stay true my friends, until next time!  ♥

 

Spiked My Heart

via Daily Prompt: Spike

The news spiked my heart with a piercing pain.
As if not enough, it began to rain
A slippery slope, I was sure to stray
I’ll never forget that cold winter day

They said to me, my dearest love lay slain
How could it be, the tears, would not restrain
It gets easier, day by day they say
Yet every day, the sun shines bleakly gray

All alone, on this planet I remain
To fight the day and trudge through the mundane
I get mad at how you left me here bay
I don’t want to shrivel up then decay

Though those dreams now, I may never obtain
With my love gone, what left, is there to gain?
I still smile since I’ll see you someday
With you, I’ll jump for joy and fly away

Occasionally, it’s stuck in my brain
From dwelling on you, I try to abstain
Press ahead and don’t visit yesterday
Then discover rest and peace when I pray.

It’s Not You, It’s Them!

Having been a server, I have come across a ton of different people.

Some kind. Some mean. Some entitled. Some very quiet. Some loud. Some polite. Some downright nasty. Some arrogant. Some humble. Some naive. Some encouraging. 

It is always entertaining and educating.

At the end of the day, everyone is different. I like different. What breaks my heart is mean, rude people. I am a server. I am serving you. I am your servant from the minute you enter in and take a seat. I am also another human being. I make mistakes. The cooks who cook your food sometimes makes mistakes and forget to put that extra mayo you wanted on your burger. Or they put an onion slice on top of the salad when you asked for no onions. Point is, everyone makes mistakes. Is that any reason to treat someone so poorly? Absolutely not.

Mean People in Public

Just the other day I had a woman completely lose it on me and raise her voice while making very insulting remarks…meanwhile, half the diners were just staring. She asked for mayo and it wasn’t on the burger. I like to get what I ask for also. However, if I don’t get it, I ask nicely for a side of mayo or ask the server to have them fix it and put it on the burger since they must have missed that memo. No biggie.  A lady in another booth stopped me and said,

“You know when someone treats you like that, it’s them, not you. She is probably upset with her own life and you are an easy target to take her frustration, anger, and stress out on, keep your head up.”

There Is Always Two Sides

On the flip side. I agree not every server is meant to be serving. Some servers bring their attitudes to work with them which is equally wrong. I always pray for revitalized customer service since I have seen a steady decline in the way people treat others, especially in customer service and the food industry.

Next Time You Are Out

Not all servers are equal, so keep your mind open when you go out to eat next and take note of the attitude, attention, and skill of the person serving you.

When, and if, you get a great server/waiter/waitress, who goes above and beyond for you, genuinely cares and takes the time to make your experience and day better, show your appreciation. Servers work hard. We have a ton of duties to do in the background diners don’t get to see- servers are fabulous multitaskers.

If you get a server with a bad attitude, maybe leave them a nice note… If you get a rockstar server, possibly leave an extra few bucks or more to reward them. We need to reward those good servers while enlightening the poor servers they need to step their game up. But do not fight fire with fire. It is a losing battle that breeds only more hatred and unkindness.

Together We Can

We need to come together to be a more engaging generation. While in a restaurant, or while ordering, or while food is being delivered to the table, get off your phones. Please. Let’s start respecting the people we come in contact with. Especially the ones serving you. Even more the ones who love you. Families… we need a revival, it starts with parents interacting with their kids, especially at the dinner table. Parents set the tone for the children. Let us raise up respectful, attentive, caring youth who will make us proud in generations to come. Together we can! 

Life Lesson Here

If someone treats you poorly, do not take it personally. It is only a reflection of them, not you. Some people are in a very unhappy state of life, so they do not have the capability of being kind to others around them. We need to pray for those mean unhappy people when we encounter them. Give them a friendly smile. Never return rudeness with rudeness. If you are that unhappy person, there are steps to take back control of your life so you can start to feel happy and in control of your life. It doesn’t happen on accident though, it is a daily commitment with small adjustments that lead to big changes. Are you ready to make a commitment to make a change in your life for the better? It is always time for life changes!

 

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I have been through many different types of situations, some very difficult, tough, challenging, fun, awesome, inspiring, and best of all, thought provoking. I like to share what I am currently learning about or discovering, so drop me a comment 🙂

♥ Stay true my friends, until next time! ♥ 

Keep It Simple

via Daily Prompt: Minimal

It rings in my head

minimal is what they call it

yet far from negligible I admit

Now when I wake I am far from dead

Because I’ve simplified this life skit

Some tips are tough, but don’t throw a fit

Rather know now than be mislead

I’m not talking perfection, we’re all a little misfit

Remember rather now or later, in the end, we all submit

Save yourself some pain and learn while you’re ahead

Even if you’re wise and have a lot of wit

Cluttering life is like digging an endless misery pit

So be a minimalist and keep it simple instead

Keep Life Simple: A Minimalist Approach

If you are anything like me, at times life can get a little out of hand on the excessive side. Products and papers pile up on the table, an ever growing to-do list seems to get longer by the day, while all those different tasks clamor for immediate attention.

Some things we must face and deal with each and every day, like a to-do list, the laundry, keeping track of finances and bills, but there are other things in life we need to simplify today. Things such as relationships in our lives.

Been There, Done That

The best lesson I have learned thus far is how to be alone and not need relationships in my life that do not make me better as a person. I see adults ranging from young to old, in unhealthy relationships that are laced with anger, grief, fighting, shame, and toxicity, yet they stay, maybe because they do not want to be alone. Life is too short, too precious, and too beautiful to spend our days bickering with someone we aren’t even married to! Being single, it can be tempting to hang out with every person I meet that wants to hang out, like I used to do. I know where that path leads already. It is a lonely, cold path. Most of the relationships pulled me further and further astray from my goals and dreams, just like a lot of people I see and meet these days.

Minimal toxic relationships = minimal stress = better overall life quality

Maximum healthy relationships = maximum joy = better overall life quality 

Don’t get me wrong here, relationships are a necessity for a healthy life. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where relationships get so twisted up we don’t know whether we’re coming or going.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HAVE TOXIC, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

It doesn’t matter if it is a best friend from the second grade, or a friend you just met last week, if after spending time together you feel further away from your goals or upset because of the way they treated you or something they always do that steps over your boundaries… create distance or run! I always felt like other people were my responsibility, to take care of emotionally and ensure I stayed there friend to not hurt them, but I have learned that is not my responsibility, and it is not your responsibility either. You are your responsibility. They are their responsibility. Learn to take care of yourself first, not nurture relationships that bring harm and grief.

A Few Good Tips

1. 1. Learn to be alone. Instead of always surrounding yourself with people, purposefully spend time alone, just sitting with your own thoughts or doing something you enjoy. You will learn a lot.  
   2. Love your alone time, spend it wisely to enhance your personal life: read, draw, create, pray, meditate, go for a walk, exercise, cook new foods, dance, spend time with pets; the possibilities are endless.
   3. Focus on creating healthy relationships with a minimal amount of people.
   4. If a relationship is unhealthy, figure out the best way to drop it immediately. Do not waste any more time. Not speaking to those who are married… that’s a different story. 
   5. Tackle the daily stuff, daily. If that pile of paperwork needs to be filed, file it. If the laundry needs to be put away, put it away (as difficult as that sounds, you’ll feel better, I promise). If a phone call needs to be made, make it. Tomorrow will never come. Now is the moment, now is the time!

 

♥ Stay true my friends, until next time! ♥